Chapter 11: Somehow, I’m About to Die, and It’s Probably My Own Fault1. Oh. Oh No. She Actually Pulled the Trigger.Let’s take a moment to appreciate how bad my life has gotten.

  (Wasn't this story about school prodigies!!!!!!?)

  Five minutes ago, I was sneaking into a government facility. Four minutes ago, I was running for my life from bullet-spewing turrets.Three minutes ago, I was crawling through vents like a criminal raccoon.Two minutes ago, I was escaping onto a rooftop, thinking I was safe.One minute ago, I was wrong.

  Because standing right in front of me…

  Gun raised.Finger on the trigger.Eyes burning with pure murder.

  Was Mikasa.

  And then—

  BANG.

  …

  …

  …

  Huh?

  I opened my eyes.

  I was still alive.

  I blinked.

  I looked down.

  No bullet holes.

  I patted my chest.

  Still no bullet holes.

  …

  WHAT?!

  2. Mikasa, Meet Plot Armor.I looked up at Mikasa.

  She was frozen.

  Gun still raised.

  Finger still on the trigger.

  But her expression was no longer calm and deadly.

  It was confused.

  Her eyebrow twitched.

  She lowered the gun slightly and checked the magazine.

  Full.

  She frowned.

  She checked the safety.

  Off.

  She tilted the gun slightly, like maybe, just maybe, the bullet forgot to leave the barrel.

  She slowly looked back at me.

  I looked at her.

  Neither of us said anything.

  Then she narrowed her eyes.

  She fired again.

  BANG.

  …

  The bullet grazed my ear.

  But it didn’t hit me.

  …

  …

  …

  Mikasa slowly lowered her gun.

  Her eye twitched violently.

  "What."

  3. Mikasa vs. The Laws of PhysicsMikasa took a deep breath.

  Then another.

  Then she aimed again.

  BANG. BANG. BANG.

  Every. Single. Bullet. Missed.

  One bullet ricocheted off a drainpipe.One bullet shot my shoece in half.One bullet literally curved around me like some anime protagonist dodge move.

  I didn't move.

  I didn't even blink.

  Mikasa stared.

  Then she squinted.

  Then she gently set her gun down on the floor and pinched the bridge of her nose.

  "...Kisaragi Yuuji."

  I swallowed. "Y-Yeah?"

  She looked up at me.

  Her expression was neutral.

  Her tone was ft.

  Her words?

  "What the actual f* are you?**"

  4. The Hacker Girl is No Help At AllAt that moment, the hacker girl poked her head out from behind me.

  She took one look at the scene.

  Then she grinned.

  "Wow, Yuuji," she said. "Congrats. You’ve unlocked protagonist powers."

  I turned to her.

  "THAT’S NOT A REAL THING!"

  She nodded. "Clearly, it is. Look at Mikasa. She’s having an existential crisis."

  I turned back to Mikasa.

  She was staring at her gun like it had personally betrayed her family.

  …

  Okay. Yeah. She was definitely having an existential crisis.

  5. Time to Make a Bad Situation WorseMikasa took one st deep breath.

  Then she picked up her gun again.

  She looked at me.

  And then, in the calmest, most professional voice possible, she said:

  "Fine. I won’t kill you myself."

  I blinked. “Huh?”

  She pulled out a small device and pressed a button.

  BEEP.

  Then she turned back to me with a small, polite smile.

  "You now have a 50 million yen bounty on your head."

  …

  I felt lightheaded.

  "…What?"

  The hacker girl whistled. "Dang. That’s like, what? 350,000 dolrs? That’s enough to buy—"

  "THAT’S NOT THE POINT!"

  Mikasa tilted her head. "It’s completely the point."

  She gestured toward the city skyline.

  "Every bounty hunter, mercenary, and criminal in the country will be after you now."

  She smiled.

  "Good luck."

  …

  OH COME ON.

  6. And That’s When We Ran (Again.)The hacker girl grabbed my wrist.

  "Okay, time to leave."

  I nodded. "Time to leave."

  We jumped off the rooftop.

  (Don’t worry, there was another building below us. No instant death today.)

  We hit the ground running.

  Behind us, Mikasa sighed.

  Then she pulled out her phone and made a call.

  “…Yes,” she said. “I need every avaible unit tracking Kisaragi Yuuji.”

  A pause.

  “Yes. I already tried to shoot him.”

  Another pause.

  “No. I don’t know why I missed.”

  Her eye twitched.

  “No, I’m not going crazy. I— you know what? Never mind. Just find him.”

  She hung up.

  Then she slowly rubbed her temples.

  "Kisaragi Yuuji…"

  Her eye twitched even harder.

  "I'm going to find you."

  She clenched her fist.

  "And when I do…"

  Her calm voice dropped to a whisper.

  "I'm throwing you off a building myself."

  7. Meanwhile, in the Streets…I was sprinting for my life.

  "OKAY," I gasped, "I THINK WE’RE SAFE NOW."

  The hacker girl gnced at her phone.

  "Oh. Yeah. About that."

  She turned the screen toward me.

  It was a live broadcast.

  The title?

  "50 MILLION YEN BOUNTY ON KISARAGI YUUJI – WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE."

  The comments were a nightmare.

  KingOfCrime: Yo, 50 mil?? LET’S GOOOOO.SnipeMaster420: I call dibs on the headshot.GrandmaDoomSyer: Oh dear, I haven’t done a bounty in ages! Time to dust off my bazooka~TotallyNotMikasa: If anyone gets him before I do, I’ll be very upset.

  …

  I froze.

  I slowly turned to the hacker girl.

  Her grin was way too happy.

  “…Why are you smiling?" I whispered.

  She stretched.

  "Because," she said, "our life just became WAY more interesting."

  …

  I hate my life.

  To Be Continued…Next Time:

  "Somehow, I’m the Most Wanted Man in the Country, and My Only Skill is Screaming"