Chapter 12: Somehow, I’m the Most Wanted Man in the Country, and My Only Skill is Screaming1. In Which I Have a Panic Attack in an Alleyway"Okay," I gasped. "I think we’re safe now."
Famous st words.
The hacker girl, who was still grinning like a psychopath, held up her phone. The screen glowed ominously in the dark alley.
"Uhh, Yuuji," she said, "about that…"
She turned the screen toward me.
It was a live broadcast.
The title?
"50 MILLION YEN BOUNTY ON KISARAGI YUUJI – WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE."
The comments were even worse.
SnipeMaster420: Time to warm up the sniper rifle~KingOfCrime: 50 million? Oh hell yeah.BountyHunterX: Anyone wanna form a squad?TotallyNotMikasa: If anyone kills him before I do, I’ll be VERY upset.
I felt my soul leave my body.
The hacker girl nudged me. "Look on the bright side."
I turned to her, shaking. "WHAT BRIGHT SIDE?!"
She pointed at the screen.
"We’re trending."
…
"THAT’S NOT A BRIGHT SIDE!"
2. The City is Full of Murderers (And They All Want Me Dead)Somewhere, deep inside me, a single brain cell flickered to life.
It whispered one thing.
Run.
I grabbed the hacker girl’s wrist and bolted.
We shot out of the alleyway and into the city streets. Neon lights blurred past us. The ground thundered beneath our feet.
The hacker girl ughed. "Wow, you’re fast when you’re terrified!"
"IT’S CALLED SURVIVAL INSTINCT!"
Suddenly—
BANG.
A bullet smashed into a streetlight right next to me.
I screamed. "OH MY GOD THEY’RE ALREADY SHOOTING!"
The hacker girl looked around. "That was fast."
More shots fired.
A bullet whizzed past my ear.
Another shattered a vending machine beside us.
"WHERE ARE THEY EVEN SHOOTING FROM?!" I yelled.
The hacker girl pointed up.
I looked.
On the rooftops—
Silhouettes moved in the darkness.
Snipers.
So many snipers.
…
"WE ARE SO SCREWED."
3. We Are Being Hunted Like Wild AnimalsThe gunfire didn’t stop.
I ducked behind a trash can, panting. "How the hell do we escape?!"
The hacker girl checked her phone.
"Oh," she said, "it gets worse."
I peeked at the screen.
The bounty had gone up.
It was now 75 million yen.
…
I screamed. "WHY DID IT INCREASE?!"
She shrugged. "More people betting on your capture, I guess?"
More people.
I peeked around the trash can.
The streets were filled with bounty hunters.
One guy dual-wielded rocket unchers.One dy had a baseball bat covered in barbed wire.One grandmother was loading a grenade uncher.
…
"THIS IS NOT NORMAL."
The hacker girl tapped her chin. "We should probably run."
"THANK YOU FOR THE BRILLIANT ADVICE!"
4. We Steal a Motorcycle (Because of Course We Do)More bullets.
More explosions.
We ran.
But then—
The hacker girl grabbed my wrist.
"Yuuji," she said, "steal that bike."
I blinked.
I followed her finger.
A motorcycle was parked nearby.
…
"You want me to steal it?" I whispered.
She nodded. "You have no choice, Yuuji."
I gulped. "I don’t know how to drive a motorcycle."
She smiled. "Then learn. Fast."
A bullet hit the ground near my feet.
I panicked.
I jumped onto the motorcycle.
"HOW DO I TURN IT ON?!"
The hacker girl hotwired it in two seconds.
The engine roared to life.
She jumped on behind me.
"GO!"
I twisted the handle.
The motorcycle lurched forward.
I screamed.
5. Yuuji Kisaragi, The World’s Worst DriverThe motorcycle zoomed down the streets.
I almost crashed into a bus.
I almost crashed into a hotdog stand.
I almost crashed into an entire police barricade.
The hacker girl held on to me, ughing.
"This is fun!" she said.
"I AM LITERALLY HAVING A HEART ATTACK!"
More bounty hunters gave chase.
A guy on a skateboard threw a knife at me.
A dy in a sports car tried to run me over.
A man on a bicycle somehow had a bazooka.
…
"WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE EVEN COMING FROM?!"
6. Somehow, We Escape (Barely)I swerved hard.
The motorcycle shot into a narrow alleyway.
The bounty hunters missed the turn.
We sped away.
For the first time in the st ten minutes, there were no bullets.
No rockets.
No grandmothers with grenade unchers.
Silence.
I gasped for air. "Oh my god… we lived."
The hacker girl patted my shoulder.
"Nice driving, Yuuji!"
I gred at her. "I almost died seven times."
She grinned. "But you didn’t."
…
"I hate you."
7. The Calm Before the Next DisasterWe stopped the bike near a quiet alley.
I colpsed against the wall.
The hacker girl stretched. "Welp, what now?"
I rubbed my face.
"I don’t know. We’re wanted criminals now."
She shrugged. "Meh. I’ve been one for years."
I stared at her.
"WHAT."
She winked. "Long story."
…
I sighed.
"Okay, so we need a pn."
She tapped her chin.
"Well," she said, "we could—"
Suddenly—
Her phone buzzed.
She froze.
Her smile vanished.
I frowned. "What’s wrong?"
She stared at the screen.
Then, in a rare moment of seriousness, she said:
"…We have a problem."
To Be Continued…Next Time:
"I Don’t Know Who Just Sent That Message, But We Are Screwed"